Black Holes and Revelations

I do like Muse, as an aside, and so I copy their title.  Thats how I feel now as I search for jobs.  Most of search is through craigslist, and between there, newspapers and casual strollings past the Paramount Pictures lot, I find myself at a loss.

The hardest part about writing is the focus.  Sometimes I have it, usually I don’t.  Right now I don’t.  Excuse the bulletpoint style.

I’ve sent in myresume with what I consider a half-baked cover letter to a handful of places.  Most of the positions I’ve applied for are as some sort of business analyst or entry level accounting.  Not an area I’m anxious to dive into, but far superior to the sales positions most abundant.  I’ve already passed on continuing the application process at a few low paying, hourly jobs.  Why work for $10 or $11 when I’m already getting paid the equivalent of $9.50 for not working full time?  And so, my efforst have led me into a black hole.

The revelation is that I need to stop joking about doing something different, I need to stop throwing it out there and saying its something I should do and suggesting that I will look into it.  What I need to do is try to act or write.  I have 6 months – 5 since I’ll likely putz around until after Thanksgiving, 4 since I should allow myself to find a real job if I fail – to try to mold my potential.  My roommate is an “actor” and there are plenty of other workshops around that should help me get started.  I just need to suck it up and say “Why Not?”

As an update on the worst diet ever: it still is.  I’m supposed to drink 6-12 10 ounce glasses of the lemon juice/maple syrup/water concoction and each of the last 2 days I’ve only choked down 3 or 4.  That has to be good for about 600 calories tops.  Today, with last night’s shit-tea, or poo-tay, as Jordan fancies, and this morning sea salt water chug kicking in, its all exploding from my bowels.  Yuck.  Not to mention, yesterday provided with the worst withdrawal headache of all time, as apparently my threshold is around 36 hours without caffeine.  I’m definitely not lasting all 10 days.  Jordan is almost too supportive.  She could easily talk me into some delicious New York style pizza right now, but she doesn’t want me to give up.  There are still a handful of lemons and limes in the frig and maybe 30 ounces of spring water in the kitchen dispenser, so perhaps day 3 is the end.  How can I justify going out and spending money on my own torture?

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~ by Matt on November 7, 2006.

4 Responses to “Black Holes and Revelations”

  1. Let me clarify that I stand by my original assessment. This will remain in your top ten list of dumbest things ever done for a long time. You’re sick and tired though thankfully not cranky.

    That said, once you decided that you’d actually go through with it, I decided I might as well support you. I’d rather not be a pill about something that has little to do with me. I hope your bowel movements are satisfying and plentiful. I hope that the giant meaty grinder I’m about to eat in front of you doesn’t hurt too badly.

  2. Thank you for linking me to your online blog. I am pleased that you have begun writing again, because you’re writings, much like your bowel movements apparently, are supberb. This diet is ridiculous by the way…I’m not sure it’s in the top 10 dumbest things you’ve ever done, but I insist that you stop it right now. And if youre already going to go on a “diet” you might as well just go all out and starve yourself or just start binging and purging like a real man.

    I too have a blog on Myspace…are you too good to have a myspace blog? You need a special blog website? In regards to your acting… I agree with you; (how’s that for semi-colon usage)take a risk, just start showing up places, audition for things, get on IMDB.

    Just remember to take me along for the ride. Take Jordan too, she seems like an alright kinda girl. I’d like to look at her up close sometime and maybe even conversate with her for a minute or two.

    Also,please write me an eloquent blog for my page, I actually have some faithful readers and I got nothing to write.

  3. my darling matty…..someday you will tell your faithfull reader just who this girlfriend is, and perhaps let me in on your ongoing persuite of employment, as apparently when you move away you forget everyone you ever knew before. you better still be coming to Fla- i am totally excited. i have missed my pal for years now, perhaps you could bring some of that tasty home-made jerky with you?

  4. Mmm…exploding bowels.

    Seriously, whose idea was this anyway? Periodically everyone from California does this diet, and is then surprised when lemon juice and cayenne pepper blaze a trail of fire through their bowels? Really?

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