I started blogging back on myspace, for those who haven’t noticed, despite figuring out that Opera was at the root of my formatting problems.
No wonder I don’t have any loyal readers – I’m not much of a loyal writer. This 4 day lapse, unfortunately, represents a 4 day lapse in my job searching. Now I’m coming to you from in front of the TV, anxiously anticipating the pregame for the big game in half an hour.
I’ve been told that if I want try acting, I need to chop off the blonde hair for the headshots. In the meantime, I’ve just been spending my days dawdling. This poor formatting is killing me. I can’t work under these conditions.
As usual, I have nothing to add in regards to my job search. Right now opera has about 15 pages open, at least 10 of which pertain to possible jobs, 0 of which I have done anything about. (9/16 – good guesses by me)
Then how did I spend my day? Well, I woke up around 9:30 and did nothing for a while. After lunch, I went back and did nothing for a while longer. This evening I went for a jog and returned home to do nothing, and that’s where I find myself now. It’s terrible how, when I feel like I should be getting things done, I am handicapped, prevented from doing other things, things that my themselves turn out to be productive. I’ve always found that when I get out into the world, nothing but good things happen. I simply don’t put myself in that position.
Actually, I find out today that to repair my 2 month old, broken phone will cost me $55. It is a disappointing phone to begin with and I am loathe to spend the extra money.
As for the rest of the evening, perhaps I will close some of these tabs, only after, of course, pursuing the jobs contained therein. And the rest of the week – let’s hope it’s not more of the same. In addition to finding a job or learning how to act, whichever path I am ultimately pursuing, I have some phone calls to make, bills to pay, and unemployment checks to deposit.
This is an altogether lackluster post that well represents my day.
(Update: Without having left my seat from when I wrote this, I’ve managed to whittle down to 7 open pages, only 2 relating to jobs [teaching in Japan and how to be a PA]. Everything in the short term has been taken care of – I might even have some cash work to give me spending money for Ohio.)
… about writing is writing when you have nothing to say. This blog is supposed to be about my job search; I started it so that I would be held accountable. Well, I’m a poor job searcher. I have myself convinced any search for full time employment at this point would be fruitless and I’ll be leaving for Ohio in short order and wouldn’t be able to start until the end of the month. In addition, if I want to really commit myself to acting, I have to commit my time. Lately, I haven’t been doing much of anything. I went to the acting seminar that I believe I mentioned. It was really just a sales pitch to get me into their weekend long, $450 seminar. Yikes! Thats more than a week of unemployment!
I’m much better at learning than applying. The fact is, I stay home and think and talk about what I should do rather than getting out and taking chances and exploring. Its whats always held me back. I sit back convincing myself that I will develop the perfect, immutable plan that will allow me a smooth transition into whatever it is I am attempting. Life doesn’t work like that, though. What I need to learn to go is get out and try. I am actually very adaptable and very good on my feet. I am very good at making the most of the tools and toys in front of me. I’m just very bad at opening up the toy chest and starting to play.
Anyhow, another quick note about that seminar: It was about positive thought and focus. One of the points made was that we focus on what we want to see, blinding us to what else is going on around us. They told to count, in the following video, the number of passes made by the team in white shirts. The video started and it was 6 kids, 3 each wearing black and white shirts, running circles around one another while passing a basketball, one basketball for each team. There were 17 passes. Some kids some 16, some said 18, a few even said 19. So they had us watch again. Definitely 17. Then they asked if who noticed the gorilla that walks through the middle of the screen. What?! So they show us the video again and this big black gorilla walks into the middle of the screen and does a little dance while all the kids are running around passing the basketball. I never noticed.
So now I have either a week or two, depending when I go to Ohio, to try finding some work. I want to commit it to acting. I can’t do headshots because I have silly blonde hair. I might try some extra work or audience work just to get cash that wouldn’t count against unemployment. Why jeopardize free money? I love/hate our government!
About the diet: It was my roommate’s idea in the first place. He actually started the day before me, and he packed it in last night, making it most of 6 days. A solid showing, tainted only by his claim that he quit because he ran out of grade B syrup and there was none around to buy. If hes home with his family, somewhere in the desert, its possible there is no Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods, but even then he could use same normal syrup for a day or two, so I think its a pretty lame excuse. Nonetheless, he made it 3 or 4 days his first attempt, much as I did, and now he’s made it 6. Next time he tries he might just finish it. Its definitely a quick way to lose weight without risking your health. There are plenty of vitamins and minerals in the concoction, but I couldn’t choke down more than about 800 calories each day. Well, its done now. We’re both back to normal. Of course, normal for him is a “separation diet” where he never eats carbs and protein together. Maybe I should just pretend he never eats or talks about food so that I won’t be influenced by his wacky ideas again.
As for the girlfriend: Her name is Jordan. She showed up on my doorstep one day in August, moved in, and we’ve lived happily ever after. We lived together for 2 months, literally slept together for an hour and a half the day we moved out (as my bed was already gone), then started dating once we’d moved 50 miles apart. She says to write that she is the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, and most spontaneous woman I’ve ever met.
I didn’t think I would have much to write, so I figured I would make some mention of my true loves, and despite rambling on, I will. Looks like the Buckeyes are going all the way. I’m glad Louisville lost last night, now I hope Cincinnati can take care of business against Rutgers. Boise State doesn’t really count as undefeated, since nobody would even make the argument that any of their opponents are top tier. An undefeated Big East team can at least make the case that they went through some combination of Rutgers, Louisville, and West Virginia. I know I shouldn’t look past Michigan, but really, they’re Michigan, the kings of big games under Lloyd Carr. They don’t even have the talent of those John Cooper coached teams, so their fans can’t be nearly as disappointed when they get rolled up by a far superior offense and equal defense. The way things are shaking out, we have a 50/50 chance of a rematch in the national championship game. Texas and Michigan would both have great cases, having only lost to the #1 team, while Florida/Auburn and USC will also be near the top, each with some big games yet to play. The only thing that would be better than beating Michigan twice would be if Florida can dominate all the way through the SEC championship game so that they are the clear cream of the SEC crop. Go Bucks!
As for the Cavs: I’m happy they’ve started off well, but lets be honest: between the free throw struggles (looked fine against the Bulls) and the lazy play (I don’t care if the Hawks are in first), this team needs to gel under the new offensive system (loving the back door cuts and easy baskets) so they can play alpha dog against the lesser teams. As for Lebron, he hasn’t dominated yet. I still think he needs more of a mean streak. I don’t care that it was the second night of a back to back, on the road, and I’m still amazed by that dunk over Duncan, but Sean May EMBARASSED Lebron. He should’ve turned around and dropped 50 after that. No way we should lose a game when somebody shows up Lebron like that. Not only did he stuff Lebron and knock Lebron down, he stood over Lebron and stared him down. I wanted to murder him. Can we channel some Charles Oakley into Drew Gooden? Can we get Lebron some angry juice? It’s frustrating.
Off the farmer’s market!
- The diet failed to last an hour past when I wrote about it. Larchmont Pizzeria is too good.
- I went to a free acting seminar. They had to be selling something – it ended up being a longer seminar. Nonetheless, it was educational in a new age, California hippie kind of way. Apparently, my mind can control the outcomes in my life. If I think about what I want and stay positive in believing it will happen, success will come. Now they want me to pay $450 for 22 hours of teaching me how.
- My cousin won an Ohio House seat in a landslide, as a republican. Thats like a double victory. The republicans got slaughtered, but he rose above partisan politics to capture his district. Makings of the President. Always been the pride of the family as far as I’m concerned.
- Proud of myself for waking up at 8:30. My next goal should be to set a schedule and stick to it regarding playing video games (FFXII is great) and job searching.
- Larchmont Pizzeria is great.
I do like Muse, as an aside, and so I copy their title. Thats how I feel now as I search for jobs. Most of search is through craigslist, and between there, newspapers and casual strollings past the Paramount Pictures lot, I find myself at a loss.
The hardest part about writing is the focus. Sometimes I have it, usually I don’t. Right now I don’t. Excuse the bulletpoint style.
I’ve sent in myresume with what I consider a half-baked cover letter to a handful of places. Most of the positions I’ve applied for are as some sort of business analyst or entry level accounting. Not an area I’m anxious to dive into, but far superior to the sales positions most abundant. I’ve already passed on continuing the application process at a few low paying, hourly jobs. Why work for $10 or $11 when I’m already getting paid the equivalent of $9.50 for not working full time? And so, my efforst have led me into a black hole.
The revelation is that I need to stop joking about doing something different, I need to stop throwing it out there and saying its something I should do and suggesting that I will look into it. What I need to do is try to act or write. I have 6 months – 5 since I’ll likely putz around until after Thanksgiving, 4 since I should allow myself to find a real job if I fail – to try to mold my potential. My roommate is an “actor” and there are plenty of other workshops around that should help me get started. I just need to suck it up and say “Why Not?”
As an update on the worst diet ever: it still is. I’m supposed to drink 6-12 10 ounce glasses of the lemon juice/maple syrup/water concoction and each of the last 2 days I’ve only choked down 3 or 4. That has to be good for about 600 calories tops. Today, with last night’s shit-tea, or poo-tay, as Jordan fancies, and this morning sea salt water chug kicking in, its all exploding from my bowels. Yuck. Not to mention, yesterday provided with the worst withdrawal headache of all time, as apparently my threshold is around 36 hours without caffeine. I’m definitely not lasting all 10 days. Jordan is almost too supportive. She could easily talk me into some delicious New York style pizza right now, but she doesn’t want me to give up. There are still a handful of lemons and limes in the frig and maybe 30 ounces of spring water in the kitchen dispenser, so perhaps day 3 is the end. How can I justify going out and spending money on my own torture?
In case you were mistaken, its not me. Its Saturday night and I thought I would drop a quick post before I get down to business. The business of playing video games.
Before I was prematurely parted from my job, I felt like I was doing a swell job of being social, starting to make friends at work. Too bad I never sealed the deal and quickly lost touch once I left. When I decided to move up to Hollywood it was in part because I knew a handful of people around here and wanted to get in on the fun. Well, now the few people I am still cool with are working, I’m too cheap to go exploring, and my girlfriend is off at girl’s night.
Speaking of being cheap, my first unemployment check showed up today. It was like Christmas in November. I went straight to the liquor store for some Hennessey. I didn’t really do that, but now that I mention it, as long as I’m sitting home alone on a Saturday night, I may as well be an alcoholic.
This “quick” update was going to be a recap of all the job searching I’ve done the last few days, since starting this blog. I’ll just get that out of the way now: … and done.
As for an update on my life outside of my time consuming unemployment, I’m starting a crazy diet called the Master Cleanser with my roommate tomorrow. Lemon juice, grade B or C maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. Oh, and a sea salt cocktail twice a day to make it go down smooth. If I can stomach the stuff, you’re supposed to go at least 10 days to get the cleansing benefit. The first 3 or 4 days leaving feeling like crap; let’s hope I can power through those and get to the juvenation. I’ll let you know how it goes. And if I don’t, assume I drowned in my own vomit.